New DNC Chairman

In an unprecedented move, the DNC recently announced its nomination of Iranian President, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, to be its new Chairman. "[Howard] Deen did a decent job, but we really need someone with conviction," said Paul Hobbs, a Democratic strategist who sat on the Chairman Search Committee this last year.

"I think I would do a wonderful job in this position," Ahmadinejad shared with the press yesterday, as he took a break between two of his country's largest anti-Jewish rallies. "The US needs a change of direction, and I believe I can help take the lead in these policy changes."

Continuing, Ahmadinejad took note of the midterm elections, in which the American people "showed their discontent" with the Bush administration. He acknowledged that in Iraq "people are happy" to be rid of Saddam Hussein, but he asked whether it would not now be "more beneficial to bring the U.S. officers and soldiers home and to spend the astronomical U.S. military expenditures in Iraq for the welfare and prosperity of the American people. As you know very well, many victims of Katrina continue to suffer, and countless Americans continue to live in poverty and homelessness."

Further concerned for Americans' welfare, Ahmadinejad is troubled that "under the pretext of the 'war on terror,' civil liberties in the United States are being increasingly curtailed."

RNC Chairman Ken Melman was unavailable for comment.

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The above story is fictional except for the 3rd and 4th paragraphs, which are completely true and were copied verbatim from here.