Responsible Men

My fiancee (w/ an accent on the first 'e')

and I are reading the book "Reforming Marriage," by Douglas Wilson, for our premarrital counseling. It has turned out to be the best book I've ever read on marriage, albeit one of the only ones. It's a very short read, and I recommend it even to those for whom marriage is not a current desire (or expectation). Another book I know is good but haven't read is "Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood," written by John Piper and Wayne Grudem (free .pdf copy online).

Anyway, the first book had a comment I thought very convicting to me as a soon-to-be husband. Notably, I agree with it completely. Wilson says:

"Because of how God made the world, men are always responsible for everything that happens in the feminine world - whether they want that responsibility or not, and whether or not women want to acknowledge it... When a couple comes for marriage counseling, my operating assumption is always that the man is completely responsible for all the problems. Some may be inclined to react to this, but it is important to note that responsibility in not the same thing as guilt. If a woman has been unfaithful to her husband, of course she bears the guilt of her adultery. But at the same time, he is responsible for it.

"To illustrate, suppose a young sailor disobeys his orders and runs a ship aground in the middle of the night. The captain and navigator were both asleep and had nothing to do with his irresponsible actions. Who is finally responsible? The captain and navigator are responsible for the incident. They are career officers, and their careers are ruined. The young sailor was getting out of the Navy in six months anyway. It may strike many as being unfair, but it is indisputably the way God made the world. The sailor is guilty; the captain is responsible.

"Without this understanding of responsibility, authority becomes meaningless and tyrannical. Husbands are responsible for their wives. They are the head of their wives as Christ is the head of the church. Taking a covenant oath to become a husband involves assuming responsibility for that home. That means that men, whether through tyranny or abdication, are responsible for any problems in the home."

A little later in the book, speaking of biblical duties of wives and husbands, he says:

"Not only is he [husband] responsible before God to do his job, he is responsible before God to see that she [wife] does hers. And of course, this is not done by bossing her around. It is done through nourishing and cherishing her."

I really appreciated this concept of men being responsible for everything. I especially related to the example of responsibility in the military (he's exactly right).

Thoughts?